When I’m being honest with myself and I look back, I can see that in each and every one of these roles I have conformed in some way to fit what I thought those around me needed for me to be most effective, most liked and most comfortable. I was not as confident and comfortable in my own skin as necessary to truly be myself without worrying about what others thought of me. As much as I try not to live with any regrets, I do wonder how things would have been different if I had felt then as I do now.
It can take a lot of time and focus to know ourselves, listen to and honor our inner voices, learn to take pride in our accomplishments, love our bodies and become excited about our journeys. I’ve come to a point in my life where I can say I am (almost) always my most authentic self. It is in the comfort of this place where I no longer need to get anyone’s approval on a personal level. I try to be as open and honest as possible, living a life of compassion. I know that when I accomplish this, those that are meant to like/love me and be in my life will be. To get to this point, I needed to make a concerted effort to be constantly exploring and trying new things, making new friends, continuing to evolve.
When self-doubt creeps in, and of course it occasionally does, I ask myself:
- Do I have my own approval?
- Why do I need theirs?
- What would it take to get theirs and what will change if I have it?
Try to take some time to slow down, be quiet and listen to yourself. I’m not talking about lots of deep meditation (although that’s pretty awesome!). Just try turning off the radio when you’re in the car alone. Take off the headphones when you’re walking or doing whatever activity makes you happy. Give your mind a chance to be peaceful. The thoughts that pop in may surprise you. Your intuition speaks to you all of the time. You just have to give yourself a chance to hear it!
Do you have changes you’d like to make in your life? Don’t be scared or overwhelmed by them. Treat them like you’d treat the proverbial elephant, one bite at a time! Above all – Be Kind To Yourself!!!!! If you feel like you can’t make the changes you want to make on your own, get help. Let your intentions be known and ask for support of your family and friends. If you don’t find it there, don’t give up! Sometimes the people around us are uncomfortable with our ‘new and improved’ selves. Sometimes we realize the people around us are no longer the people that we feel comfortable with. I hear how scary this sounds. But know that as you change life and as the faces around you change you are becoming the best version of yourself. I promise, you will not be sorry in the end. There is not a more freeing and fabulous feeling than loving yourself and being proud of yourself for who you are and having the confidence to use your voice.
Go ahead, try it! I double-dare you!